I have only had maybe three boyfriends I actually really cared for. Each lasted about three months and each took three years to get over. I cannot understand though, if my teenage love life is so awful, why does everyone come to me for love advice? I am so socially awkward and yet this group of rejected kids have gotten together and have created their own clique. its not a popular clique, and nor are they very very unpopular or in the 'special ed' group. I'm just always so shocked because all these beautiful girls and even guys are coming to me saying "Sarah, why doesnt she like me?" or "Sarah what do I do, does he like me?" and they seem like stupid questions. I always say "Just ask him. and if he fucks you around, tell him you will have nothing more to do with him." and they smile and say "Thank you so much!" and they continue to come back about their other problems. I have trouble telling other people whats wrong with me, I dont want to pretend that I am more intelligent than everyone else but when I used to try and explain my problems these kids would turn their head like a small confused dog and say "Oh."
After I say something like. "Oh maybe I think I like him, but he has a girlfriend who is very over protective." and liking boys is not something I take lightly. I know its obviously puppy-love, or maybe just a crush but when I realize that I am infatuated with someone I tend to get really attached.
I have aspergers.
many people think I cannot feel. That is utter bullfrogs&fiddlesticks. I have bipolar, maybe schizophrenia, on top of that. Obviously I have feelings if I have been diagnosed with bipolar. Before I took meds, I was very depressed. almost all of the time. I even remember being very young and always feeling guilty, even when I had not done anything wrong. I remember asking my mother "Mum, my chest is sore. whats wrong?"
 and I would always be at the doctors, and they would always come back with "Oh she has ADD or ADHD, or she just needs attention, you know nothing because you are a woman."
This did not go down well with my mother. I love her. Even though I used to say I hated her, I know now that I am older I need her, in my life so I can live my life.

My parents have split up. I see my father every fortnight. I also love him very much, but he used to yell at me a lot when I was younger. But thats okay, I dont hold it against him anymore. I think it was because he wanted to be a swinger, and thats fine. What is also fine is the fact that he wanted to serve in the war overseas in the Australian Army, But another recuit team took his place and he didn't get to go so he was very sad. I tried to apply for the Army, But I cannot because I take medication that I cannot stop taking because I may develop more problems or have a mental breakdown. That is most definantly something I do not want.